or should be committed.. either way – here I am.
Many times throughout the last few months I have thought – I need to just write about that – and get it off my chest – or tell that funny story. But I haven’t. This is like therapy for me and I have been ignoring it and you. I can talk and share and put it out there – and if no one reads it – it’s ok… but it’s not all bottled up inside me anymore!
So here I am. I have changed the name of my blog. I have updated the look. I have a new commitment to blog weekly and share more of me… in hopes to have people share with me. I may not always be what you want, or who you think I am .. but I promise, I will always just be me – a little silly and slightly clever!
So the biggest thing – is that I had another baby! Thomas Raymond Clarke was born at 5:45pm on March 13th — at eek! 4lbs 15 oz! He was 3 weeks early!! He’s a perfect little tot, and we couldn’t be happier. He’s a good baby too, sleeps ok – eats good.. No complaints from this mama.
That, and I went back to work full-time. I love my company and the people that I work with are super supportive and nurturing. But man, mom guilt is hell! Not being there 100% of the time for the Captain, sucks! It sucks. It’s hard and I am constantly second guessing everything… and I am just waiting to get there with TR as well! Currently TR goes to an amazing lady, who’s an amazing mom (she has amazing kiddos) – I couldn’t be happier – and I don’t get sad when I drip him off.. I know he’s in good hands. But the Captain needs more. He needs attention and love and I feel like although for the first 4 years he got most of mine – he doesn’t get as much now, and that breaks my heart – just a bit.
In my last post - waaaaay back in September, I was excited about quitting my full-time job for a part-time and being able to stay home more with Alex – I don’t think I had even announced my pregnancy yet! I wrote this sometime soon after – The amazing opportunity I had to work part time fizzled faster then it came. It honestly, broke my heart. The excitement over this job was through the moon – I believed in it, and I trusted it and I was more than disappointed by it in the end. I have been dwelling, a little depressed – but it’s time to be over it – it’s time to move on. – I don’t know that I actually really got over it. Thankfully I did move on.
I had these amazing photos of TR done by a friend from Junior High/High School – the wonderful Julie (Anderson) Newell – her studio is in Chicago – but she happened to be in the Kansas City area – and we were able to set something up for a quick shoot. She is a beautiful lady – who has a wonderful talent! I was so happy to get to work with her! And look how gorg these photos are! Are you serious! If you are in the Chicago area – check her out! http://julienewellphotography.com/
That’s all the nuggets I have time for today! Looking forward to the future!