My life has been on a crazy train lately.
- I turned 34 (eek)
- Celebrated the Captains 3rd Birthday
- My 6th wedding anniversary
- The Hubs 37th Birthday
- Signed the Captain up for organized sports
- Realized that he is still too young for organized sports
- Joined a great gym, one that I actually really, REALLY, like going too.
- Had some realizations about my professional life
- Talked an amazing lady into launching a design business with me
- Made a few mistakes
- And finally, have the Captain almost totally potty trained (betcha I jixed us!)
I’ve been busy. I FEEL like I’ve been busy.. but in that good, workout kind of feel.
First and foremost I can’t believe my baby is 3! He’s sassy, smart, feisty, so smart and so very very frustrating. People keep saying, “It doesn’t really get better until about age 5.” This scares the crap out of me.. Are you kidding – don’t tell a mom who’s at the beginning of the 3’s that it could last 2 more years!
I will be writing more on this subject later, but I have had some pretty major realizations about my professional life. i have come to the conclusion that 20 is too young to be able to make decisions that will impact you when you are “old,” and “mature”. Wait! Am I those things? Old and Mature.. well I’m older and more mature, at least.
At 34 – looking back with regret will not help me move forward. So how do I move forward? (seriously, if you know – could you please tell me – i’m asking for realz..) I’m kidding, I think….
So, I’m at an impasse.
I have this crazy amount of guilt about not being with the Captain more. He may or may not be a little on the wild and crazy side, and I wonder if I was at home with him, if I would be able to help reallocate some of that energy into something more positive. I also, really don’t want to quit working. I really like having a job, and being able to financially contribute to our family. Because lord knows, I have done my fair share of spending.
All roads not taken are scary.
The thought of leaving a company to go out on my own, is scary. I can’t fail. I don’t have the luxury of it not working. I’d put the Hubs and the Captain in harm’s way, at least financially, and that can’t happen. So I am taking baby steps.. I mean, I have dreamed of doing something on my own since I was 16.. so apparently, I take very very slow steps!
The next few months should be interesting. I will do better at updating this – and I hope people are still reading.
There have been some questions as to if I am quitting my job. No, I have not, and don’t really plan to yet. I don’t want to mess up our lifestyle at all.. so I’m here giving my all until I can honestly look and say I have enough business on my own to sustain our life. I have a good thing here, nice people, good work, the opportunity to learn new skills. But don’t worry, YOU WILL ALL KNOW when/if I quit my job!