What’s new in your world?

My life has been on a crazy train lately.

Since January:

  • I turned 34 (eek)
  • Celebrated the Captains 3rd Birthday
  • My 6th wedding anniversary
  • The Hubs 37th Birthday
  • Signed the Captain up for organized sports
  • Realized that he  is still too young for organized sports
  • Joined a great gym, one that I actually really, REALLY, like going too.
  • Had some realizations about my professional life
  • Talked an amazing lady into launching a design business with me
  • Made a few mistakes
  • And finally, have the Captain almost totally potty trained (betcha I jixed us!)

I’ve been busy. I FEEL like I’ve been busy.. but in that good, workout kind of feel.

First and foremost I can’t believe my baby is 3! He’s sassy, smart, feisty, so smart and so very very frustrating. People keep saying, “It doesn’t really get better until about age 5.” This scares the crap out of me.. Are you kidding – don’t tell a mom who’s at the beginning of the 3’s that it could last 2 more years!

I will be writing more on this subject later, but I have had some pretty major realizations about my professional life. i have come to the conclusion that 20 is too young to be able to make decisions that will impact you when you are “old,” and “mature”. Wait! Am I those things? Old and Mature.. well I’m older and more mature, at least.

At 34 – looking back with regret will not help me move forward. So how do I move forward? (seriously, if you know – could you please tell me – i’m asking for realz..) I’m kidding, I think….

So, I’m at an impasse.

I have this crazy amount of guilt about not being with the Captain more. He may or may not be a little on the wild and crazy side, and I wonder if I was at home with him, if I would be able to help reallocate some of that energy into something more positive. I also, really don’t want to quit working. I really like having a job, and being able to financially contribute to our family. Because lord knows, I have done my fair share of spending.

All roads not taken are scary.

The thought of leaving a company to go out on my own, is scary. I can’t fail. I don’t have the luxury of it not working. I’d put the Hubs and the Captain in harm’s way, at least financially, and that can’t happen. So I am taking baby steps.. I mean, I have dreamed of doing something on my own since I was 16.. so apparently, I take very very slow steps!

The next few months should be interesting. I will do better at updating this – and I hope people are still reading.

xoxo
m

 

 

 

 

There have been some questions as to if I am quitting my job. No, I have not, and don’t really plan to yet. I don’t want to mess up our lifestyle at all.. so I’m here giving my all until I can honestly look and say I have enough business on my own to sustain our life. I have a good thing here, nice people, good work, the opportunity to learn new skills. But don’t worry, YOU WILL ALL KNOW when/if I quit my job! 

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Toddlers act like little drunk people..or..OH THE HORROR..Pants!

Seriously, I hit an all time low this morning.

I locked myself in my closet!

I wanted to cry, although I knew I didn’t have time too because it was 7:30 and I wasn’t dressed and needed to leave my house to get to work on time… so I just stood there taking deep breaths and counting to 10. When I came out, the Captain had removed his pants (he doesn’t particularly care for pants..), put under ware over his pull-ups and put his rain boots on. This all after I wrestled him to the ground and forced pants and a clean shirt on him. You would think I was force feeding something nasty to him all the while flailing about, screaming NO PANTS..

oh the horror .. PANTS!

So what do you do? The Hubs and I are constantly reminding each other to pick our battles. Today, I picked it – and I’m not sure that I won. Shouldn’t moms win.. I mean, he went to school with pants on .. but no coat – bc he refused, no socks, and his cape. I am at a total loss with my little monster right now. He’s extremely stubborn (so is his dad.. I am not at all… wink wink) and hard headed.. but the sweetest little monkey ever.

I googled “Raising a toddler is hard.” It’s what I was feeling, and wondered if anyone else felt this way – all the while, knowing EVERY parent feels this at some point. I read this article on Parenting.com called Reality Check: Raising a Difficult Toddler – she makes some really good points:

  1. there is nothing funny about the mix of worry, anger, guilt, and frustration you feel as the parent of a difficult child. (But I ask.. Is the Captain truely a difficult child? Who measures that?)
  2. You must realize that he is not doing it to you (Yes, I think I said today – I do everything for him and sacrifice for anything he needs or wants.. and he doesn’t listen, and doesn’t respect.. oh yeah, he’s 2)
  3. He is not out to get you (I’m not sure about this one..I think he’s working on something with the dog)
  4. Step one is to accept that, for better and worse, this is just your son’s personality, steps two and three are to notice which situations set him off (sensory overload, transitions, not being asked what he wants to do) and teach him how to manage his own intensity (by getting lots of exercise, having quiet book times, being given choices).

It all boils down to wanting to do the right thing, wanting the Captain to turn out to be a good person, who loves and lives and has many friends.. who loves his parents and siblings (god willing) and DOES NOT TURN OUT TO BE A SERIAL KILLER. So if there is some magical math problem that can ensure that.. could someone PLEASE clue me in?

Sometimes, I have to go to one of my happy places…

The mall!

Oak Park Mall! Boo Yeah!

Love these fools

The beach early in the morning

This is Mindy Clarke, and I approve this message!

Gettin’ it done

Sometimes I write when I am happy or sad or feeling creative. When I don’t write, it’s because I have a lot on my plate or am not sure how to put into words what I need to say.

I started a new job. I really like it. It’s giving me the opportunity to be creative and analytical all at once. I believe it’s what I have been looking for, and for that, I am thankful.  I have been unhappy for so long in my career choices, and disappointed in myself for decisions I made when I was too young to make life decisions. .. Coming to terms with that and figuring out a path was a chore all in itself.. But I do believe I found something that will help move me along what until now has been a very stagnant path.  Regret is a funny thing. It’s not something you want to have, I can regret leaving Russell Stovers, but ultimately I formed relationships and had experiences that I wouldn’t have if I would have stayed. When it comes down to it. What makes life good, are the relationships and experiences whether good or bad. I have a good life, one filled with lots of relationships and LOTS of experiences, and that’s really all I can ask for. I also have one heck of a husband and kiddo.. Seriously, if I would have changed one thing from the time I left high school, I may not have met the hubs — just goes to show that everything happens for a reason.

At the beginning of the year – I made a list for myself. A list of Mindy wants, of Mindy needs… not a list to share or to talk about – but a list for me to keep track of my dreams and my desires. I wanted to read more (done.. I have now read more “books” (on my nook) than I have in years past..), I have wanted to make an effort to be more frugal (not done, but still working), I wanted to go back to work full-time (done.. And although I like what I am doing now, I miss my Fridays. Fridays were MY day, now I don’t have that time.. So there’s a struggle in how to have some time for me, and time to clean and cook and all that jazz).  I still very much want to be pregnant again, I took a break for a few months to get myself back in a happy, positive mode, so moving forward I wouldn’t be a crazy nut bag while trying.. I think it worked – I mean sure, there’s a level of crazy.. But that’s only normal!

Have you guys read a blog called, Hey Amber Rae? She’s awesome and her site is a really good read. I subscribe to her feeds, and generally speaking find them inspiring and uplifting.. and extremely thought provoking. My favorite are her Ambergrams… check her out..

We’ve had some fun adventures this summer.. here are some pics!

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The Captain turns 2!

What a day, what a day.. my little peanut face turned 2 on Saturday. The day he came – oh my gosh, I have never been so full of love! I feel bad when I tell people the birthing story – because it was so easy and laid back – it was a long day – especially for hubs – who, bless him, is not the most patient of people – and was so excited!

So, I had gestational diabetes the first time around. They say it’s one of those things that some people get and some people don’t – but, I was taking Metformin for Poly cystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS) when I got pregnant. One of the things Metformin is used for is to regulate blood sugar for diabetics. At 20 weeks I stopped taking the Metformin. At 25 weeks I was diagnosed. I have always thought that my gestational diabetes could have been because of all of that.. regardless – no matter how much it sucked to not be able to eat chocolate ice cream when I wanted, it was the best thing that could have happened to me. I was so strict with my diet – that I pretty much regulated my numbers without meds – and even lost weight pretty consistently until I gave birth at 39 weeks. Because of the GD they felt there was a chance he could be large – so they went ahead and scheduled me to be induced. He was born at 7 lbs 8 oz. I could have gone that extra week – but I am so glad I didn’t. He was killing me – baring down on my pelvic bone.. good gravy – I still remember that. We checked into the hospital at 8pm on Wednesday night – after checking me to see if I was dialated at all – they decided they didn’t need to give me the Cervatil (the spelling on that is probably wrong), kept me hooked up to the machines, and told us we could eat dinner. After dinner they gave me an Ambien (thank you!) and I went to sleep. At 5 they woke me up, asked me if I wanted to shower and started an IV. At around 6 they gave me Pitocin (to induce labor), and I went back to sleep. I seriously slept off and on all day – they would come in every hour to check me – and I think I had a small handful of contractions before they gave me the Epidural. And then I slept some more. At around 5 – the doctor finally made an appearance – said hi.. checked my chart, checked my progress and left. At 6 she came back. Checked everything again, and said it wouldn’t be long. At 6:30 she checked me again. She said she wanted me to push a little.. so I did. Then a little harder, and once more.. and there he is! I am not even kidding – he it was 3 pushes and 15 minutes! Do you see why I feel bad telling people that story!?? I can only hope the next one (god willing) will be as easy!

So the birthday.. Alex learned early in the week (because my birthday is on the 17th) that when you say Happy Birthday, or sing Happy Birthday – it means CAKE. So when we walked into his room on Saturday to wish him a happy birthday – he said, “CAKE!” My little man loves his sugar!

We had a small little get-together with our families, and just a few friends. Alex ran around and played with kids, and was not real interested in opening presents – he just wanted cake. He received some awesome presents from the way-to-generous friends and family that attended – and really had a nice time. I hope. Here’s a little collage of the big day. I made the decorations (although there’s really weren’t many) – not the candle (and if I could have figured that out – I probably would have attempted!). I really wanted to make the marshmallows for the S’mores thank you’s – but there was no time! Plus, I think I really need a big mixer – and I don’t have one.

My dad got the Captain a cowboy hat – that’s the hubs wearing it – he is so much more brooks brothers then he is cowboy – but I love how he not only lets – but encourages my dad to bring on the hats and boots. It’s another reason why I love him so much! The cookies were made by a friend (I have contact info if you want it – she’s amazing) and the cake is the chocolate cake from Costco ($16.99). I tried to stick to a budget – a small budget – I haven’t looked to see how I did – I am sure I was a little over.

I love birthday parties!
mindy.

An update to “The List” and some other random thoughts —

So a few weeks ago I made a list of things that I REALLY wanted to get done before the end of the year.. So I have decided that I need to revisit and update the list – so to hold myself more accountable. The list is below – and my progress would be a F if I was in school (thank goodness I am not!) … :

  • Bring my lunch to work and walk with the girls (stop eating out all the time!) – bringing my lunch is going a lot better then walking….
  • Sign up for a walk-a-thon of some sort – I have not done this yet.. but am still looking into it.
  • Use the entertainment coupon book, groupons and muncharoos – am doing very good at this – and am actually running out of groupons and muncharoos.
  • Sort out the details for Birds sprinkle (a baby shower – but small.. it’s for her 2nd child) – for another girl! Very excited about this – now just have to get it planned!
  • Be a smarter shopper – when shopping online – shop through shop at home or ebates, use coupons! – have yet to do this..
  • Purchase a few outfits for work that are, “for the position I want, not have” type outfits.. nope
  • Lose weight (I mean seriously – it’s ridiculous!) – 😦
  • Decorate: – nope
    entry from garage
    dining room
  • Hang photos and paintings in: some.. hung pics in the Captains bath and his room..
    Master bedroom/bath
    The Captain’s room
    Hall Bathroom
  • Dinner schedule (and stick to them for Pete’s sake!) – doing fairly well at this
  • GET THE LAUNDRY DONE! hahaha.
  • Start Christmas shopping/crafting by October 1 – might still be able to get this done…

So I can’t mark anything off my list – but I am doing better at some of the items.. and that’s key – right? Pinterest helps me. I have some outfit ideas in my Things I want to wear folder, for home decor ideas I have For the Home and the Littles folders – and for Christmas shopping I have the Present Ideas folder – course most of the present ideas are ideas for me.. but the folder will continue to grow.

Scott Baio, Doogie and Direct TV – ooopah!

It’s fall!  If you need me during the week – I will be on my couch with soup or stew or something delicious, watching TV!  I thought I would share what I plan to watch – and demonstrate how full my DVR is going to get (Dear Hubs, we might think about purchasing another recording device (craigslist, maybe) – and putting it upstairs – I have a feeling you are going to be SUPER annoyed in about a weeks time.. you have been WARNED!).

Side note: Hubs gets real mad when he tries to watch something on the tube and can’t change the channel because Charles in Charge and Friends – the one with the leather pants – hahahaha.. is recording.. Oh sorry it’s not 1985 or 93 —oh uh, Big Bang Theory and How I Met Your Mama..  or any 2 things to where he can’t change the channel.. Sorry Love!

Ok – back to biness.. I welcome any suggestions as to what to watch..er…DVR – or comments about why my shows suck – feels like a good day to have a hefty discussion about something so important – so bring it. Hubs is not allowed to comment!

These are the major network shows – I also watch a laundry list of things on USA – such as Psych, Covert Affairs, White Collar, and Royal Pains

Monday:
7pm – HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER – I love this show and am super excited that next week after the season premier there is another NEW episode
7pm – Gossip Girl – ashamed I am NOT.
7pm – Sing Off – Team Lachey all the way
7:30pm – 2 Broke Girls – I am going to try this show out – I like the actress that plays Max
8pm – Two and a Half Men starring Ashton Kutcher –I just love him – I want this to work – I guess we will have to wait and see.. but I will give it a fair chance for Duckie, the kid and Rose’s sake!
8:30pm- Open
9pm- Castle – is she dead? Will she find out he loves her?
9pm – The Playboy Club – I will watch 1 maybe 2 to see if it’s worth it!

Tuesday:
7pm – New Girl
7:30pm – Man Up.. again – I am going to try it..
9:00pm – Gilmore…errr… Parenthood

Wednesday:
7:30pm – Suburgatory – I love me some Jeremy Sisto – but, a comedy? We will see..
8pm – Harry’s Law
8:30pm – Cougar Town or Happy Endings – for some reason they can’t figure this out!
9:30pm – Free Agents

Thursday:
7pm – Wipeout or Big Bang Theory
7pm – Community
7:30pm – Up all night – I sooo want this shoe to be good! Or Parks and Recreation
How to Be a Gentlemen
Whitney – I am going to give her a chance
8pm – Office – who is going to be the new boss??
8:30pm – 30 Rock

Friday: Currently Open for suggestions
Saturday
: The day of rest for the DVR

Sunday:
9pm – Pan Am
This night used to be full of HBO shows – but I am not a big fan of vampires or male prostitutes – and with Entourage bidding adieu – i might need to use this night to clean a toliet or move stuff around in the fridge.
Mad Men

Shows that I am not sure when they are on:
GCB
Apartment 23
Food Revolution
Friends with Benefits

Are you wondering how in the world I manage to eat or dress myself let alone the Captain.. honestly – I am too.. it’s going to be a busy fall! 1/2 the new shows will be cancelled by January so winter won’t be so busy. Money on the fact that I will really like whatever show is cancelled… I am still mourning Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip.

What are you watching? Am I forgetting about anything new?
mindy.

Happy Tuesday!

I added a new page.. look up… to the right…. see it? It’s foodie stuff. I will post some recipes, and restaurant stuff and ideas on all things food..i hope you enjoy the new page. Oh, and feel free to follow the posts as well! Wanna share your favorites – comment on the post with a recipe or restaurant review!

mindy.

The year is over half way through! I can’t believe it.

Fall is always a very busy time for us.

We have season tickets to Mizzou football games, and try to attend as many as possible. The Hubs loves his Missouri Tigers, and I have grown very fond of Columbia (I mean it’s no Manhattan, KS – but the more I go, the more I love it just the same).  There are definite places that I like to go before and after games; Les Bourgeois,  Tropical Liquor, Booches (I want a t-shirt from there…). Football has not always been my thing.. but I enjoy it more today then I did, and the more I learn about it the more I enjoy watching it. I like listening to Mike Kelly do the play-by-plays.. he’s very good – and I love his voice!

There is just something amazingly charming about small college towns. There’s a true sense of community and everyone pretty much routes for the HOME team.. and college game days are the most fun! Restaurants are packed, the good ones anyway, everyone is happy and having fun. The name of the game is FUN on college football Saturdays. Hubs is always in such a wonderful mood! Needless to say, I look forward to football Saturdays. Hope the Captain loves them as much as we do – he kind of has no choice in the matter of attending, so hopefully he loves them!

So anyway, I have started a list of some things I would like to do to improve myself, my day-to-day life, and my home, in hopes of feeling more organized and energized (plus, saving money along the way would be the best feeling of all!) by the end of the year.

  • Bring my lunch to work and walk with the girls (stop eating out all the time!)
  • Sign up for a walk-a-thon of some sort
  • Use the entertainment coupon book, groupons and muncharoos
  • Sort out the details for Birds sprinkle (a baby shower – but small.. it’s for her 2nd child)
  • Be a smarter shopper – when shopping online – shop through shop at home or ebates, use coupons!
  • Purchase a few outfits for work that are, “for the position I want, not have” type outfits
  • Lose weight (I mean seriously – it’s ridiculous!)
  • Decorate:
    entry from garage
    dining room
  • Hang photos and paintings in:
    Master bedroom/bath
    The Captain’s room
    Hall Bathroom
  • Dinner schedule (and stick to them for Pete’s sake!)
  • GET THE LAUNDRY DONE!
  • Start Christmas shopping/crafting by October 1

These all seem doable in the remaining 17 or so weeks left in this crazy year! Wait, 17 weeks! Holy cow!
It’s almost labor day – pack those white pants away and be safe on this “last weekend of summer!”

mindy.

29.. (because apparently i can’t come up with 50)… things about me.

  1. My full first name is Mindy, not Melinda
  2. It kind of annoys me when people ask me if my first name is Melinda, I’m not sure why.. but it does.
  3. I love show tunes – Wicked, Spamalot and Cabaret are my current obsessions. Current means.. for the past 3 or more years… apparently.
  4. I like to write/type [… ] this generally means there is a pause in how I speak … but not necessarily a comma (although sometimes it’s in lew of a comma)
  5. My husband is my bestest friend in the whole wide world. We love, we fight, we laugh – it’s good. Oh and he’s the best dad – it’s so fun to watch.. and he makes me laugh.
  6. I need to learn to focus on the positive more. I lecture hubs about doing this all the time.
  7. I love to decorate – but have no idea where to start – get tired and have empty walls. I am lazy
  8. I desire to make pretty things and get paid for it. I desire to make happy things and feel fulfilled in my career.
  9. I am a foodie. I love to eat, I love to cook and I LOVE COOKBOOKS
  10. I wish someone would hire me to design cookbooks. (Ideally from home)
  11.  I think I’m funny
  12. I have always wanted someone to call me a half pint. This will never happen. I am not half nor a pint
  13. I have favorite bad words. I say them often. I have been working on getting better at this. F.
  14. I miss Charlie, my beloved black lab, every day.
  15. I get excited for fall. I love back to school shopping – all I want to do right now is go buy new pens, sharpees, and a few new outfits … and have my mom pay for them.
  16. There is a purse that I want, and since finding it, I have thought about every day. It’s $268 and made by Dooney and Burke. The most expensive purse I have ever owned was $32.50.
  17. Learning to be content in the now is not easy for me.. I have not learned how to do that.
  18. Favorite bands include: Barenaked Ladies, Train, Counting Crows, Maroon 5
  19. My perfect (non-fall) Saturday includes breakfast (simple and easy), good coffee, farmer’s market, nap, play time (in water?) with Alex, drinks, grilling and dessert with hubs, bird and stew.
  20.  My favorite Fall Saturday includes breakfast, good coffee, Columbia, Les bourgeois, tropical liq, football game (past me would scoff at this for sure!), dinner and home in bed
  21.  I love mail
  22.  I am unorganized – but wish I wasn’t – but not sure how to fix it.
  23. One day, I would like to own a little shop – I would sell some personalized stationary, invitations, some home décor, a book or two – and probably have a little coffee nook. This has been my dream for as long as I can remember. Sometimes it was just a book store, just a stationary store or just a coffee shop – but all together is the ultimate.
  24. I am obsessed with magazines
  25. I like to day dream
  26. Captain A has been my most fun adventure. He’s the best, most fun, hilarious 18 month old on the planet
  27. I do not particularly care for the furry things that live with us.. and I am a huge pet lover. These 2 dogs do nothing for me though – it’s sad
  28. I love to eat out. I have been craving sushi and bogey’s for a week now.
  29. I need a better camera

Friends

This morning I have been thinking a lot about my good friend Taco. I have called her that (although not exclusively – she has many nicknames) since high school, and I don’t think she’s every really loved it. But it makes me smile – it takes me back to a time before kids and husbands, before real responsibility, to that time when we were all figuring out who we were and where we were going – although – it was usually in Taco’s car listening to John Cougar Mellancamp or Bob Marley..

Taco is one of the smartest and most beautiful (inside and out) people in my life. She’s amazing, seriously! She sews, and gardens; she’s an amazing mother – and a brilliant accountant. She’s successful in most everything she touches, and is one of the nicest and sweetest people I know. She has 2 beautiful daughters and a wonderful hubby.  (not to mention – she can pull off just about any look! She’s a little fashionista!! Although she’d never admit that!)

We had a nice talk last night. She trying to figure out if they are ready to make an awesome move, and is scared and excited all at the same time. It makes me feel good that she comes to me and wants my take on things – although ultimately I know she will do what she will do, I feel privileged to be someone she confides in and such apart of her life. If January comes and new adventures start – I hope to look back on the next 5 months and see lots of Friday coffee dates and wine Mondays (or Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays and/or Sundays). I think that if a new adventure is started – January seems like the most perfect time!

All to often we let friendships pass with time, drifting apart when lives get busy. The true friends, the ones you hold in and trust with your heart – those people will never drift and never fade no matter with time or distance.

I feel truly blessed to have a few people in my life that I hold so close. I love wholly and completely, which means – I sometimes hurt wholly and completely. That’s life. – and I understand and accept that. I hope Captain A loves like that. Holds people and experiences close and feels a sense of pride that others hold him that way.

m